Stage Fright: When the Piano Feels Like a Stranger
"Oh my goodness… what just happened?"
It was my second year at Juilliard, and I was about to perform Chopin’s Scherzo No. 4 at Performance Forum-a required course where all piano majors gather a few times each semester to watch and perform for each other. It was also open to the public.
For me, nothing is more nerve-wracking than performing for fellow pianists. There’s a unique kind of pressure when your audience doesn’t just listen-they understand every note, every phrase, every mistake.
I had just learned the piece. It was my first time performing it in public. But there I was, walking onto the stage. I took a deep breath and looked at the piano-my constant companion, my best friend. The instrument I’d spent my whole life with.
And then, something strange happened.
Something that had never happened before.
The piano felt like a stranger.
The 88 keys stared back at me-unfamiliar, distant. My heart was pounding so loudly I could barely think. My cheek twitched. My right leg shook so badly I could hardly control the pedal.
What was happening?
Still, I told myself, “It’s okay. Once you start playing, it will pass. You’ve done this a hundred times.”
And then-the unthinkable.
I couldn’t find middle C.
Yes, middle C. The first note I ever taught my four-year-old son.
Because I couldn’t find it, I didn’t know where to begin. My starting note-a B-could’ve been anywhere on the keyboard.
“Is this really happening?”
I froze. My brain shut down. For a split second, I genuinely considered standing up and telling the audience I was too sick to perform.
The silence was deafening. Every eye was on me. The weight of that moment was overwhelming.
But I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to move forward. So, I took a leap of faith and played what I hoped was the correct note.
It wasn’t. It was an octave too low.
Oh my gosh… is this really happening to me?
I quickly jumped to the correct register after the first phrase, but the damage was done. I was crushed-and I’m sure the audience could tell. You can probably imagine how the rest of the performance went.
To this day, it remains one of the most terrifying and humiliating moments I’ve ever had on stage.
And yet… it taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my performing life:
Preparing for a performance isn’t just about mastering the notes.
It’s about preparing your mind-strategically, emotionally, and mentally-for the pressure of performance.
Stage fright is real. And learning how to manage it is an essential part of being a musician.
So… How Do You Deal With Stage Fright?
Over the years, I’ve developed a few personal strategies that help me manage performance anxiety and walk on stage with more confidence.
1. Identify What You’re Actually Afraid Of
Stage fright isn’t one-size-fits-all. For some, it’s about fear of judgment. For others, it’s the physical symptoms-shaking hands, shallow breathing, dry mouth.
For me, the fear has always been about memory.
Unlike many instrumentalists, pianists often play entire recitals from memory- sometimes two or three hours of music. And it's not just about memorizing the notes. It's the dynamics, tempo changes, markings, intentions of the composer, and your own interpretation.
I used to ask myself: Can my brain really hold all of that?
2. Don’t Rely on Finger Memory
This advice is especially for younger students.
When I was younger, I could memorize pieces quickly just by playing them over and over. The physical repetition created muscle memory. It felt like I knew the piece.
But here’s the problem: under pressure, your body can freeze. And when your fingers stop responding, you suddenly realize-they were doing the work, not your brain.
True memory, the kind that holds under pressure-comes from deep, mental understanding, not just physical repetition.
3. Make Your Left Hand Rock-Solid
With experience, I began noticing a pattern: nearly all of my memory slips happened in the left hand.
So now, before any performance, I make sure I can play the entire left-hand part by memory-musically, beautifully, and confidently.
It’s not easy. Playing just the left hand requires real insight into the music. But if my left hand is secure, even if my right hand falters, I can usually recover quickly and gracefully.
4. Use the Puzzle Method
This is a technique I’ve only used a few times, but it’s incredibly effective for strengthening memory.
Photocopy your score, cut it into small sections-phrase by phrase-then shuffle the pieces like a puzzle. Pick one section at random and try to recall the phrase before and after it, from memory.
It’s time-consuming, but incredibly powerful. It forces your brain to understand the structure of the music deeply and non-linearly, building flexibility and resilience.
5. Simulate the Entire Performance Day
As the big day approaches, I don’t just rehearse the music-I rehearse the day.
I write out a detailed plan for the entire performance day, including:
Wake up
Breathing / Quiet time / Prayer
Wash up
Eat breakfast
Slowly review the program with the score
lunch
nap
prayer/meditation
Light warm-up
Visualize walking on stage, bowing, sitting at the bench...(usually I do this starting a night before)
I mentally walk through the whole experience. It helps reduce surprises, lowers anxiety, and gives me a sense of control.
It’s like practicing how to be nervous-on purpose-until the nerves feel familiar. Almost like you're befriending them.
Conclusion
Stage fright doesn’t disappear completely-and maybe that’s a good thing. A little nervous energy can bring your performance to life.
The key is understanding your fear and developing tools to manage it.
Even after decades of performing, I still get nervous. But now I know how to prepare for it. I know how to rehearse everything-not just the music, but the mental state that carries it.
And when those moments of panic come-and they still do-I remind myself:
It’s not about being fearless.
It’s about being ready.